It's Not That Simple
by bass-chan
Summary: Modern AU, Sebastian and Ciel go to the beach. The Reapers arrive and ruin everything.


**This is a random ass story. Thanks!**

It started with a simple question. Actually, it wasn't that simple. It was more of a random, awkward one than a simple ask. Nothing in the world is simple. Everything is complicated in its very own unique way. Walking is a simple thing to do but it had taken time to learn. The world is filled with ignorant people who believe certain things are 'simple'. The tiny human mind cannot fathom actual simple things simply for the reason that nothing is simple. For example, a simple question can lead to-

"Sebastian, why are oranges orange?" asked Ciel.

Ciel held a tiny tangerine in his hand and was peering at it curiously. The tangerine was obviously orange but with tints of green across it. Now just to clarify, a tangerine is similar to an orange. Like how gala apples and fuji apples are of the apple category-

"Clementines and tangerines are both orange varietals," explained Sebastian, looking up from the magazines on his lap. "Speaking of which, can I get a Pepsi?"

"No, and remind me again, why are we at the beach?" said Ciel.

Sebastian waved his hands around excitedly, however displacing some magazines.

"To have fun in the sun! Boo-chan you need to get some sunlight, you look paler than the average vampire!"

Question still not entirely answered, Ciel held up the tangerine and launched it at Sebastian.

"First of all, I am not having fun. Second of all, I do not look pale. Lastly, why are oranges orange?"

"Oh. Oranges are orange because the natural color is green. When the temperature gets cooler, the oranges turn orange. Now can I get a Pepsi?"

"No."

Suddenly, Sebastian leaned in close to Ciel.

"Hey, Boo-chan wanna hear a secret?" Sebastian whispered.

"What? You're not wearing underwear?"

For some reason that it was possible, Sebastian leaned in closer.

"I want Pepsi right now."

"You're not getting it," said Ciel. He pulled out an apple from his pocket as a gaping Sebastian looked on.

"How many fruits can you fit in your pocket?" gasped Sebastian.

"Approximately five if I don't include the peaches, and they're fresh too," answered Ciel and took a bite out of his apple. "Sebastian go swim in the ocean or something. You're annoying."

Sebastian sighed and took one step towards the ocean and almost fainted.

"What's wrong?" asked Ciel, still munching his apple.

"There!" yelled Sebastian pointing his finger at three people walking towards them.

"Yeah so?"

"It's Mr. Grim and his Reaper friends!"

"Who cares? They're not going to attack us," said Ciel as he watched Ronald revving up his demented lawnmower.

"In my opinion, we should run," suggested Sebastian.

"That's right Sebastian. I shall run for president in the next election," declared Ciel.

"No! Run, as in 'use your tiny legs and move them'!" yelled Sebastian.

"Too tired for that."

Sebastian watched in horror as the three reapers descended on him.

"You," said William.

"Hello Ronald McDonald, Frell, and Bill" acknowledged Ciel. "How may I be of service?"

"Where's the nearest vending machine?" asked Ronald.

"How can I pay for this damn parking ticket?" inquired William.

"I like seagulls," gushed Grell.

"What is life?" wailed Sebastian.

Ciel tilted his head like the smart little boy he was.

"To answer all of your questions: Head to the left and take a right turn, with a valid credit card, that's great, and 42."

Of course no one was listening and everyone started to rant again. William adjusted his glasses and twirled his scythe, Ronald jumped around holding his useless lawnmower and Grell was trying to kiss Sebastian.

"Can you stop trying to kiss me?!" yelled Sebastian.

"Oh, Bassy! A kiss a day keeps the doctor away!" said Grell, fluttering her eyelashes.

Ciel decided to ignore all of them and pulled out a banana from his pocket.

"How many fruits can you fit in your pocket?" asked William.

"Approximately five if I don't include the peaches, and they're fresh too," answered Ciel.

"You should include the peaches," said William dryly.

Meanwhile, Ronald was mowing the sand and Grell had decided to mow Sebastian.

"What are you doing to my butler?!" yelled Ciel, who was probably about to find out the wonders of live pornography.

"Oh Ronnie, get the camera out! I'm titling this scene as 'Sexy Goddess Seduces Hot Hunk'!"

Sebastian attempted to run away from Grell but of course to no avail, because Grell lifts and he doesn't. He only ended up with a mouthful of sand and more tears.

By the time they had removed Grell off of Sebastian, it was already 4:00 PM.

"Goodbye, Bassy!" winked Grell as the reapers teleported off. There was a ding sound and everything was quiet once more, save for the seagulls squawking and the waves crashing.

An awkward silence followed.

"Well, at least we can watch the sunset," offered Sebastian.

"Sebastian…"

"Yes bocchan?"

"It's raining."

 **Thanks for reading!**


End file.
